43 Self-Love AffirmationsJul 17, 2023
Why do we need affirmations?
Affirmations have been such a game changer for me. They have helped me completely change my inner critic and as a result I have built so much self-worth. I used to feel like I had failed. Big time. I suffered from insomnia for 18 years and I knew it was really destroying my mental health. I felt like I had messed up my entire life and that I would never be able to fix it. I was in a victimhood mentality, and without realising it, this was making things worse and worse. Terrible things can happen to us but we actually do have a choice, only when we learn how to be more aware, to step out of a victimhood mentality and choose to move forwards instead of staying stuck. Affirmations can be a wonderful part of this journey.
The way our brain works is that we are more likely to focus on the negative thoughts that come to us as our brain believes we need to pay attention to any threats coming our way. We are wired to survive, we are not wired for happiness. Our survival mechanism really couldn’t give a damn whether we are thriving, feeling fulfilled or happy. It simply cares that we survive and pass on our genes. Our survival mechanism is part of our reptilian brain - part of the brain that was developed early on in our evolution. When the amygdala is alerted - think of this as the fire alarm, our brain alerts our body to get ready to prepare for threat. This was great for us when we were running away from tigers, however today we see a cup of spilt coffee as the tiger and as a result our brains are on hyper alert, constantly looking out for danger. This is terrible for us because our nervous system is constantly in fight or flight mode. Fight or flight mode will shut down any of the systems of our body that our survival mechanism deems unworthy for survival - for example our digestion and reproductive systems shut down. Hence so many women suffering from IBS and infertility / irregular periods.
Therefore, the way we are wired, means that we have to focus on our positive thoughts 5 times more than our negative thoughts in order to equal them out. Society has not taught us to celebrate ourselves or to be positive about ourselves. The likelihood is along the way you were taught to put yourself down because “being humble is better than being arrogant.” However, this is insanely damaging for our subconscious minds as we start to erode our sense of worth through our language and our thoughts.
“Anyone could have done it.”
“Oh I am not that good at it.”
“I didn’t do it on my own so I don’t deserve the recognition.”
“I only just made it.”
“I could have done better.”
“I wish I hadn’t said X.”
The likelihood is, if you were to do a presentation and completely smash it, you will focus on the one tiny slip up over the incredible job that you did. The way you speak about yourself internally and to others really matters very deeply. Our subconscious minds are responsible for 97% of our thoughts, behaviours, feelings, beliefs and actions. So, with awareness, we start to bring our subconscious mind into the conscious mind and choose affirmations to help us rewire our brains so that the pathways towards confidence, self-love, praise, abundance, happiness and desire start to get stronger. There’s a saying about the brain - neurons that fire together, wire together. Meaning that what the thoughts that you focus on will create a well trodden path and will be recalled easier next time by the brain. So we have to combat this and start to create a new well trodden path. A path that’s actually helpful.
Is this hurtful or is this helpful?
Next time you think something negative about yourself ask yourself, is this hurtful or is this helpful? The likelihood is that it’s hurtful. With an open mind, if you start to consciously choose a thought that’s helpful you can create change and empower yourself to start to have different beliefs about yourself and about the world. I am not asking you to lie to yourself, but as Abraham Hicks says:
“Reach for a better feeling thought.”
If you are constantly recalling your mistakes, your mess ups, your painful moments in your head you are literally reliving these moments in your mind and body - the mind and body don’t know the difference between real and imaginary which is why we feel anxious before something has actually happened. Instead we reach for that better feeling thought, and perhaps instead remind ourselves that we did what we could with the tools we had at the time. Instead of punishing and blaming ourselves (hurtful) we remind ourselves that we can choose to find compassion and kindness for ourselves (helpful.)
The Power of Beliefs
Beliefs are insanely powerful. Drug trials have shown us a huge amount of Scientific research into the power of beliefs. Drugs always get tested against a placebo. A placebo is a drug that contains absolutely nothing. The point of a placebo is to show that the drug is better than simply taking a pill. If you take a pill which contains nothing and yet you get a positive response - what is it that causes that? One thing - the belief that the pill is going to work. Placebos prove the mind-body connection - that our beliefs can have affect on our physical health and well being.
During a chemotherapy drug trial, one group of people were given chemo & one were given a placebo. Neither the patients or the people giving the drugs had any idea who was having real chemo and who wasn't. In the chemo group, everyone lost all of their hair. In the placebo group, 40% of people lost their hair. There is a vast amount of data with placebos - and it clearly shows that beliefs are incredibly important. Our beliefs are incredibly powerful. The mind-body connection is incredibly powerful. We need to start to understand how we can influence it.
“You do not attract what you ask for. You attract what you believe.” Alicia Keys.
The key to affirmations
You must start to believe that you can make changes. You must start to believe that it can be easy to make changes. You must start to believe that you can have the health, happiness & lives you want to have. I am not asking you to think positively all the time. That’s not what affirmations are about. It’s about finding a more helpful thought than the one you are used to. For example, if you think badly about yourself a lot of the time then you are likely going to struggle with an affirmation such as “I am beautiful, I am incredible!” Instead you can start softly with “I am capable” or “what is meant for me will not miss me” or “I make mistakes and choose to learn from them.” The list below is meant to inspire your daily affirmation practice.
Your daily affirmation practice
Choose 5 from the below and each week, for 6 weeks, choose another 5 that you resonate with. Close your eyes, sit upright, take a few deep breaths. Hand on heart, repeat the affirmation out loud or silently in your head. Try to connect with the words and focus your attention on your hand on your heart. Say the words with meaning, as if you truly believe them if you don’t already! How you say these to yourself is important, try not to just list them off in your head with no connection to the meaning. Repeat each affirmation 5 times before moving to the next one. Write these affirmations down everywhere you can. In your journal, diary, phone, on the laptop, on posit notes - stick them on mirrors and everywhere you can see them!
Please know that when I first started doing this I felt ridiculous and I did not believe they would really make a difference to my life. But slowly I started to connect to the words more and more. I dropped my judgement, I allowed the words to flow and sink deeply into my heart and my bones. I allowed the words to create sensations of feeling really good in my body and I enjoyed it. I made a joke about it to my friends - I was this crazy person telling myself I was wonderful! But it was working - I felt more alive, more connected, more at peace with myself, more forgiving of myself, kinder, more compassionate. And those around me could tell that there were shifts taking place. I felt lighter and more at ease. In my everyday life my mind wasn’t on autopilot reaching for negative thoughts, I was able to recognise when I was going this way and I was able to stop myself and replace the negative with a more helpful affirmaiton.
43 Self-Love Affirmations
- I am brave, bold & beautiful.
- I have everything I need within me.
- I attract what I believe.
- I believe in myself wholeheartedly.
- I honour and trust in the timing of my life.
- I have many beautiful desires and I leave the who / what / how / when to the universe.
- The universe is always supporting me.
- Everything is always working out for me.
- I am abundant and open.
- My life brings me endless opportunities and possibilities.
- I celebrate the love inside of me and inside of all of those around me.
- I am able to receive love.
- I am safe, I am loved.
- I am capable and confident.
- I am able to use my voice and speak my truth.
- I am deserving of everything I desire.
- It’s okay to not feel okay all the time.
- I am kind and compassionate to myself, especially when I make mistakes.
- I choose to learn from my mistakes and grow.
- I choose love not fear.
- I choose to honour my needs - these are important for me to live a fulfilling life.
- I choose to live my life to my full potential.
- I believe in flow, in softness, in not being in control all the time.
- I choose to show up with my best energy rather than focus on the outcome.
- I give myself permission to rest.
- Success comes easy to me.
- I am able to move through difficulty.
- I am able to allow life to be messy.
- I am able to move through difficult emotions knowing that these are my best teachers.
- My worth is not determined by external validation. I get to remind myself every single day that I was born worthy.
- I embrace stepping outside of my comfort zone.
- I am a powerful being.
- I have so much to offer the world.
- I choose to feel alive. I make decisions to help serve me to feel alive every single day.
- I choose to get to know myself on a deeper level.
- I hold my heart in my hand, I send myself love, kindness, compassion, growth and abundance.
- I will always belong.
- I accept myself unconditionally.
- I love myself unconditionally.
- I chose empowering beliefs over limiting beliefs.
- I commit to my personal growth.
- I choose thoughts that feel good.
- I know that whatever I feel is valid. But thoughts and feelings are not facts.
14 Day Self-Worth Boost
Need a bit more guidance? Our 14 Day Self-Worth Boost is your chance to be guided every day through meditations, affirmations & journaling practices to get you kick started on the journey of self-worth. Whether you are new to this work or just need a little boost, this 14 Day course will help inspire a daily practice & get you feeling more compassionate, more connected & more aligned.
14 DAY SELF-WORTH BOOST
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